What a girl wants

Hi guys! Sorry, I didn't write yesterday, but I was a little bit busy. Not that I had to do something important, I just didn't sleep well the day before (I can't sleep before 4 am although I already go to bed at midnight), so when I got up in the morning I took a breakfast and fell asleep till 5pm lol.
Afterwards I went to eat some pizza with my grandma and my greek aunt and had some discussions. My greek aunt is a nice person, but she's not thaaaaat clever. The first point she said was that the USA were responsible for the damage in Syria. I'm not a pro USA and contra Syria, it's not even the other way around, I'm neutral. But just to say that's the USA's fault is not right. Maybe the USA had helped the process od destruction, but first of all, it was Syria that damaged itself. Things like this happend when the people feel depressed, when they hunger and have bad living conditions. That's what damaged Syria, not the USA. Of course the USA helped the resistance because it follows interests, but every country follows interests, that's for sure. Otherwise Greece would have been beaten out of the EU, at least they tear down the whole Europe.

The second very stupid thing she said was about Mafia. She said: "Do you know the real definition of mafia? Nobody does, but I do. The definition is that they give s.th. to s.b. but not for free. The recipient always has to give it back. They're like the jewish people, they never do something for you."

First of all, how can you say that the mafia is like a people? you can't generalize! Of course there are nasty jewish people, but you find this people all over the world. All humans on earth are equal, there isn't a good nationality and a bad nationality. You can't even say, all german's are nazis, they're all evil and the greeks are nice and friendly because that's not true. It alays depends on the character of a single person, there is not a character of a nationality. There may be some differences due to the different habits, clima and culture, but in general all people are the same. so how can you compare a people to the mafia. Second thing is, that she didn't define the mafia, but only told something about their characteristics and actions. There IS a simple definition of mafia, it's organized criminality.

Of course there was a development of the mafia during the time, but it was always a criminal group, also when they tried to liberalize Italy, it still was in a criminal way. I found some clues where the word mafia came from. My aunt said that it's sure that it was an arabic word that meant salvation or something like that.
I looked it up and here the different expressions that could be connected to mafia.
I took it from the german wikipedia page when I typed in the word "mafia". here the results.

• maha – Höhle oder Grotte (cave)
• ma hias – Angeber, überheblich, dreist, Zerstörer (blowhard, arrogant, arrant, destroyer)
• mahfil – Versammlung, Stätte der Begegnung (meeting, a place where you meet)
• mu' âfâ – Schutz bieten, Beschütztheit (to protect, protector)
• Ma' âfir – Ein sarazenischer Stamm, der von 831 bis 1072 in Palermo regierte. (this is not important)

Aus dem Sizilianischen:

• mafiusu, marfusu – arrogant, eingebildet, aber auch selbstsicher, mutig, schön (In innersizilianischen Dialekten hat sich eine positive Bedeutung von mafiusu bis heute erhalten. Eine Wortabkunft aus dem Arabischen wird angenommen.) (arrogant)

Aus anderen italienischen Dialekten:

• malfusso – ungläubig, diskreditiert, Krimineller (aus dem Toskanischen, nachweisbar seit dem 15. Jahrhundert) (unbelievable, criminal)
• mafia oder maffia – Armut, Not (florentinischer Dialekt) (poverty)
• mafi, mafio oder mafiun – kleinwüchsiger, missgestalteter Mensch; Rüpel, Bauer ohne Manieren, der weder spricht noch antwortet, Dieb (piemontesischer Dialekt, seit 1830 im mundartlichen Wörterbuch des C. Zalli eingetragen.) (vertically challenged; a farmer without manors, a thief etc.)

Laut Duden hat das Wort arabische und italienische Ursprünge und bedeutet Anmaßung.^[1] 

^{In the german dictionary it's said that the word comes from the italian and arabic and means arrogance.}

Akronyme:

• M.A.F.I.A. – „Morte Alla Francia, Italia Anela“ = „Den Tod Frankreichs ersehnt sich Italien“ oder „Morte Ai Francesi, Invasori, Assassini“ = „Tod den Franzosen, Invasoren, Mördern!“ (Nach der Legende Schlachtruf und Auftakt der Sizilianischen Vesper zur Vesperstunde des Ostermontags am 31. März 1282.) (Death to France, desired Italy; from the legend of the Sicilian Vesper on the Monday of Easter 31. March 1282)
• M.A.F.I.A. – „Mazzini Autorizza Furti Incendi Avvelenamenti.“ = „Mazzini befiehlt Raub, Brandstiftung und Giftmorde.” (Akrostichon aus der Parole des Geheimbundes umGiuseppe Mazzini) (Mazzini calls out for robbery, arson and poisoning)

That's what I found about the word. Not many positive things huh? I'll have to show this to my aunt so she knows that what she talked about didn't really make sense at all.

So much to yesterday. About today, I had some trouble with a good  friend. I think that he fell in love with me and now he told me that he doesn't want to be my friend anymore or to meet me because he doesn't want to be just a friend. He said s.th. like my bf or we won't see each other anymore. I understand that he acts like this, it's honest and I would actually do the same, but I told him at the beginning when we first met at facebook that I wasn't interested in more than a friendship. If he had these kind of problems, he could have told me earlier.

This leads me to the topic I wanted to write about today, what a girl wants. 

I'll show you two pictures. (And don't come with "I only care about the character" because that's not true)

The handsome man on the first picture is Chris Hemsworth. He's the actor of Thor, Marvell Avengers and Snow White and the hunter. The man on the second picture is Rainer Calmund, a former soccer player who is very cosidered well in Germany.

I guess that 100% of the girls would decide to take number one, Why? It's natural. I think that is has something to do with the theory of the evolution. You remember that Darwin said that natural election is the survival of the fittest? It has to do with sexual election. In the animal world the females always serach the animal who is the strongest in order to have strong descendants. An animal who has shiny colors shows that he is stronger, because, although he might have problems because his hunters see him better, he still survived throughout the years, what means that he is actually stronger than the one with less shiny colors and that he can make a better life for is children. It's the same with us humans, cause humans are animal of course. We want a goodlooking, masculine guy because he shows his strentgh and can garant a better life (he's a better hunter etc.) So it's normal that a girl wants a guy with a nice body. 

Second thing what I recognized. You often want the opposite of you. I have brown eyes, brown hair, I'm small and I love blonde guys who are a little bit scandinavian. If you take a look at all my favourite actors or singers, they're all blonde with blue or green eyes.Also when a dark man is beautiful, it doesn't attract me.

I think that has to do with nature who tries to mix us up so that the gens become mixed up and that the human race can improve. When gens aren't mixed up, it happens to us like to the noblemen a few hundret years ago. Due to the fact that they always married their cousains or sisters to remain the power in their own families many of them had mentaly or physically illnesses. Blood has to be mixed to be healthy, so, to prevent this accidents many people like the things they don't have. My italian cousain for example looks like me, but prefers blonde girls with blue eyes. Funny, isn't it?

About the character. What kind of boy does a girl want? I don't know, it's difficult. When I liked a boy, he didn't have some specialy characteristics I liked about him. It's just that I liked him, I don't know why. The sympathy was already there in the beginning. The character becomes important after you met a person, at the beginning you can't know what kind of person you're talking to. I like boys who are funny, who make jokes and who make me laugh. I remember a failed date in Japan with a guy who was so shy that we didn't talk to each other at all. I'm a person who loves irony and funny stories, but I didn't know what do say to that guy because I was so embarassed by the silence. I didn't know wether he would understand irony or my joke and that made me become shy to. When I had a date with my last japanese love interest, everything seemed so fine. He fell down, we took the broken Karaoke chamber, but all in all, I laughed a lot. And it's important to laugh, it's even healthy and good for the skin color hahahaha XD 

Second point is that he is honest to you. There's nothing worse than a guy who tells you that he loves you and than cheats on you. But I think you already know that.

Sanctum

Hi guys! Thanks for reading my blog (although there are only 5 people who read that *lol*) Today's topic is a story I started to write inspired by the movie Legion (I just copied many aspects lol).

Have you ever seen that movie? It's a horror movie based on some religious aspects. God is tired of all the sadness and anger on our earth, so he sends his angels to kill and destroy human kind. Only one angel, Michael, the protagonist of the story, tries to defend the humans. And you know who played Michael in this movie??? PAUL BETTANY!! You may say like my father: "Gosh, that man is ugly", but for me Paul is one of the most beautiful men on earth.

For me beauty is not just beauty. For example Zac Efron seems to be a perfect beauty, but he doesn't say anything to me. For me "beautiful" also means to awake some emotions. That's what actually happens when I see Paul Bettany. I don't know what he has, but for me he has something sacred, mystical and protective in some way. I think he's the perfect guy to play an angel.

The story I'm writing (I won't publish it cause I won't finish it anyway) takes place in the future. Due to the destruction of the nature and the toxic gases in the air, human kind is forced to live under the earth and only the richest people can effort to live under secure glass constructions on earth. To avoid world wars all modern technology was prohibited, what leads to very hard living conditions like during the 17th century. Still the world is in a very bad condition. The story starts with a different character than the protagonist, that also plays a bigger role in the story. It's a very beautiful red haired girl ( a prostitute) that awakes the interest of a young noble man who's living over the earth. He sends his sister to take the girl as a maid to his house and she gives in and decides to live at the house. What she does not know is that the man is in reality a demon , Baal, who is searching for a sacred girl who will give birth to a child,  a second jesus, in order to kill him for his lord Satan. But he took the wrong girl and so he uses the young woman as a slave to find the real woman Maria, who is the protagonist of the story.

Maria is learning the holy bible as a sister in a monastory under the earth with her best friend Celestine. She doesn't know that she will give birth to the sacred child. One evening she goes out of the monastory (although she knows that it's proibited) to bring some bread to her friend Angelique, who's working as a prostiture in the red light area under earth. Shortly after she arrives at her house, an earthquake occurs, followed by lightning and strange voices. After some silence a tall, goldish man with a wide sword enters. Now the party of "Legion" comes to the story. The man, an angel called Michael, has the task to find the sacred girl and to kill everything evil on earth. He kills Angelique and also wants to kill Maria, when he feels her sacred character and gets off her. He knows that he has to protect her from the demons at any task until the child is born to bring salvation to human kind.

Michael is like a robot in the beginning, who only tries to do his duty. He doesn't care about emotions. The longer he is on earth he recognizes that he becomes more and more human. He starts to understand human's actions.
In the religion Michael is one of the four angels who stand right after the Lord. He fights with a sword and it's said in the jewish mythology that he was responsible for defeating Satan. As one of the angel who loves most the humans he has a special relationship to human kind. 

I called the other main character Maria because it's refered to the mother of Jesus, the holy Mary. It should demonstrate the purity of this character. Maria is the contrast to Lilith (the red haired girl), who shows purity,  real love and honesty.

(drawing by me, I finisehd it today and worked on it about 5-6 hours)

Michael is not the only one who has a task. He's followed by the three other angels Gabriel, Raphael and Uriel, who share his same character. The only one who seems to be more sensitive is Gabriel, who takes care for the two girls, Maria and her best friend Celestine. I chosed Cabriel as the more sensitive one and designed him/her as a woman because Gabriel is often shown as a female angel.

The evil main characters are Baal, Ishtar, Lilith and Satan.

In our historical Baal once was a God from Syria who symbolized fertility. Since the monotheism spread over Europe and North Africa, Baal became one of the demons serving Satan. He's described as one of the most powerful demons who have even the same power as Satan. In pictures he's shown with three heads, one is a cat, one a frog and one an old man. 

I used this attributes for my Baal and decided to make him quite shizophrenic. *lol* As a former god he misses the power he once had and tries to steal others identity in order to find his former power and to become content. In my story he kills the victims and uses their faces, hair and clothes to change his identity. When he sees Lilith, he is wearing the skin and clothes of a noble man, further on in the story he's a farmer, a biker etc. He is the nemesis of Michael and envies him for his purity and beauty, so he wants to kill him to take over his identity. In contrast to the other demons he isn't only evil, but has a quite difficult character. Since he treats humans and inferior demons in a very bad way, he respect his sister and Lilith a lot. He even falls in love with Lilith, what demonstrates still some attributes from his older personality.

In christian mythology Ishtar was once a very beautiful god, who became the male Astaroth. I let her female and gave her the name Ishtar in ger story, because Astaroth is often described as a attractive demon. In my story she is the sister of Baal, less strong, but has still a lot of power. In human form her beauty is untouchable, but she can't look into the mirror, or Astaroth, her evil side is shown. Ishtar is fanatic about her beauty and kidnappes virgins in order to take a bath in their blood to gain youth. ( I looked that up from the "vampire"-queen Elizabeth Bathory.) He admires but also hates Lilith for her beauty and tries to use her as an object to attract Maria or Gabriel.

Lilith is a succubus, a more inferior demon who causes nightmares and erotical dreams. She's described as very attractive and causes men to sin. In my story the red haired girl (she doesn't have a name in the beginning) is made to Lilith by Baal to have more power. She underlies Baal and follows very strict his orders. There is a quite romantic relation between the two, since Baal protects her from other men and demons in a very harsh way. She is the contrast to Maria, also when she's not completly evil. She lived in a bad envoirment, worked as a prostitute and is attracted by expensive habits. Since red hair was often seen as something bad also during the middle ages, I decided to make her red her. She's described as childish and small to show that, although she's working as a prostitute, doesn't have an evil character and that she only decides to go with Ishtar because she doesn't want to suffer anymore. In my story she also wears a red coat that should remind the reader on the little red riding hood, that represents the innocent girl who is attracted by the dodgy wolf, that should represent Baal.

I only write 30 pages, but I got stuck and don't know how the story should go on. I still have to overthink it. I already know the ending, but a story can't just finish after 30 pages, that doesn't make sense.

Michelle Phan

Okay, this is the post about Michelle Phan that I wanted to write before I started with this metaphysical and psychological stuff. It's just that I LOVE metaphysics, philosophy and the christian and jewish mythology that I could write an whole book about this hahaha. XD But let's go to something totaly different, another topic I like to talk about: Make up! And today focused on Michelle Phan. For those who don't know her, she became quite popular through youtube. She put some make up tutorials in the internet and is a so called, guru (person who gives make up tutorials, adviced etc.), of course you should not mix it up with a professional make up artist (MUA) like e.g. Lisa Eldrigde.

I guess that I won't get a 1+ for this entry, but as I already told you, I'm a very honest person and so I don't care what other people think, I just write down my opinion. And this post will be my opinion about Michelle Phan.

I'm not a "phan" and I'm not a hater, I hardly know her or her videos, but the last day I started to think about her in a quite negative way. First of all, she describes herself as a professional make up artist. First of all, that's a little bit offensive to those people who studied make up for a longer period. I worked as a part time model in Germany, so I also worked together with professional MUAs and they told me about their make up school. You have to know about the different kinds of skins, the skin tone etc. I don't know a lot about make up, so I don't talk about it, but when I saw people like her talking about make up if they only did this the whole life I get quite angry. Sure, she's good, but you can't compare her works to the works of Lisa Eldridge. Now you may say :" Minnie is just jealous of MP and envies her." I tell you, no, I don't envy her and I'm not jealous. I like make up, but I'm not interested in becoming a MUA, I don't like youtube, I only visit it to listen to music, but I never watch videos on youtube, I don't care about her boyfriend (I'm not very interested in asian boys and he's not my type) and I don't care about having my own make up firm oder jewelry. *lol*

The first time I heared about Michelle Phan was when my mother sent me a youtube link about her make up tutorials. She said that I should take a look to get an "inspiration" for my future cosplay make up. Since I don't like to watch videos on youtube, I never looked at it until my mother forced me to watch one of her videos. It was okay. She did it well, yes, but that's all. Nothing special, a cute, modest girl who gives advices to others. But there are many other good gurus on youtube, so why all this "idol-legacy" about Michelle? I have a theory. I'm no racist at all, I'm very open for other cultures, especially for asian cultures because I really love Japan, but I think that Michelle became so popular because she's asian. Now we have this time with all the videogames and anime stuff, so Japan became quite popular. And since many western people are stupid and think that all the asians are the same, they see Michelle and connect her with video games and anime. It's the same with cosplay. Many asians cosplay better than european because they look more on the details of a character and stuff, but not all asian are better. When you see a good cosplay picture of an european cosplayer, they have two comments when they're lucky. On is "oh, pretty cosplay", the other are critics for their make up etc. When you take a look at an asian cosplayer, he/she has 1 million positive comments. I even read comments like "you're not asian, europeans should not cosplay. go home and do something else" under a very pretty cosplayer. WTF! We live in a mostly free world, since when is only one country supposed to to something. First of all, cosplay or to-cloth-like-an-idol is not a japanese invention. Wherever you look, in every country humans loved to masquerade and to cloth like their idols. I remember the book "Die Leiden des jungen Werther" I don't know the english title, from Goethe. After this book became popular, all the teenagers started to "cosplay" the protagonist of the books. There were special shops that offered the costumes of the story and we talk about 1774. Second point, if you want to be so detailed about who can cosplay or not, you should say that ONLY japanese are allowed to cosplay because it's their invention. So not only byebye europeans, bye bye chinese, malaysian, singaporean etc. cosplayer, we have people here who prohibit other countries to cosplay!!!!

Well, I got a little bit offtopic now, but I wanted to say that I think that MP is so successful because of her asian origin. I also know my german cousain who treats asians like gods because of manga, anime etc. There are many europeans and americans who act like that, that's why she became so popular. I also like asians, many of them are friendly and educated, but in the end people are the same all over the world. I think it's a kind of positive rasicm to praise asian because their asians. You may think different, but it doesn't seem good to me, I don't know.

Now Michelle Phan started a jewelry line ( after she started other lines that were not very successful because the products had a bad quality or s.th like that) called Ever Eden where she sells "unique design jewelries". I went on some research, just for curiosity and found the forum gurugossip, where people started to talk about Ever Eden. First of all, there were some quite bad critics about the jewelry.

You should also read the description. When I saw that vid I was like "Oh my god, my claire's stuff for 5 euro look better!" I'm really not a hater, but how can you sell earrings that look like this? :(

Another fact I don't like is that she uses religion to sell her stuff. She says that she would be a very religious person, a hardcore christian with charity channels and so on. A charity channel is a good idea, but as a good christians you should know that you shouldn't use religion to merchandise things. 

I mean, look at this.

 "I still remember a story from my childhood.". Jeanne d'Arc is not a children's story, it's a historical fact. Of course I also admire her for my strength, but Jeanne d'Arc fought for freedom, what is it she's fighting for? I could accept that she compares herself to Jeanne when she would fight for woman rights or for equality of all tribes, but to merchandise this story for jewelry? I don't know... :/

Another fact that seems quite bad to me is to make a photoshooting for selling goods in a church. Maybe I criticise too much, but a church is a holy place with the spirit of god. Everything what has to do with selling goods, economy and materialism doesn't belong into a church. As already said, if she had made a proclaimer for charity, I'd have appreciated that, but to use religion (spirits, hopes and wishes) of others only to sell his own goods is quite ... rude.

Lobotomy.Kidnapping.Torture

I know, I told you that I would write my next post about Michelle Phan, but I had a very weird nightmare last night and I want to write about that because I can't think of anything else.

What is lobotomy. For the ones who don't know, lobotomy was a kind of psychosurgery that was very "successful" in the USA during the 1950's. How does it work? Well, I'm not a psychology student and I don't intend to study psychology, although it is very interesting and I already thought about that.

Lobotomy means to use and ice pick, put it through the front of the eye and reach the preformal cortex in order to cut the connections. 

It was developed in Europe and used as a therapy in asylum, but it didn't work out that much.

At the end of the 1970 in most countries the lobotomy was ceased, but it still was practiced till 2000 in the USA and some parts of Europe. In Europe lobotomy was very common in the north, in England and Scandinavia. It was still 2.5 times less than in the USA, still, it was executed, in most cases on women and smaller children in order to heal them from mental illness. 

Why lobotomy? It was used in order to heal the patients from pain and to heal depression, but the consequenz of this therapy was a change of the character and of the emotionality. 

Well, I actually know that there were no proves for the success of lobotomy, it only changed the patient's mind. (not in a better way) so due to many critics it was ceased. I know that in Germany the last lobotomy was in the 1970's.

By the way, there is a very nice movie what deals about lobotomy. It's a kind of psycho thriller that takes place in an asylum. It's not very popular, but here is the cover of the movie!

Maybe it is not as scary as that bloody "shit" like Saw or hostel (yes, i called that kind of movies shit because there is no real idea or moral behind the movies. It's only in order to show blood and flesh, quite disgusting. ), but it has some very interesting aspects about asylum. I love these stories. I think there is nothing moe interesting than mental illness and therapies that are used in order to cure the patients. I really would like to study psychology, but I think that i'm not made for this. And to work in a asylum who also need medical experiences. I'm not very interested in medicine, so I think that i will study something that is better for me. *lol*

I think everyone of you knows about kidnapping or torture, so I don't have to explain anything. Maybe only, that torture has a very lond history. Already the ancient cultures used torture, in the middle ages torture or marture was very common to get information and it's still used today, also when it's officialy prohibited in many countries. A torture has the task to damage one's psychology and to make one suffer. The victim is not supposed to die, but supposed to give secret information that he wouldn't talk about if his mental status wouldn't become so deceased as with torture.

Let's go on to my nightmare. I already had a post about Freud the last time and about his theory of dreams. Dreams are the subconschious of humans, so they show the wishes and fears of humans, in many cases connected with sexual problems, right? Well, that's what I actually remember from my philosophy lesson. That's our modern theory, the theory I also believe in. Still it's not said that it's the only one. I once read a very interesting book called "Satan" by a german author who tried to proove the existence of Satan and demons. He didn't write down just his opinion, no, he gave some information about the historical aspects of metaphysics, what also included "incubi" the plural from the latin world "incubus". (Actually "incubo" is the italian word for nightmare.)

So, what is "incubus" or, in the female form "subbucus" in the historical context of metaphysics? It's simply a demon that causes nightmares. The first stories about nightmare-theories was found in mesopotamia, who connected nightmares or erotical dreams to a succubus called Lili, or Lilith. (actually a very very cute name. my friend thought of naming her child Lilith lol)

The jewish or christians mythology says that this kind of nightmares are results from sexual activities with an incubus or succubus during the night, when the human sleeps. The day after the human only remembers the terrible aspects of the nightmare. Although responsible in the first line for erotical dreams, it should also cause other nightmares that make the human suffer.

So, who knows who's right? lol ! I hope Freud. A demon who causes nightmares would be too scary, wouldn't it? XD

My dream was nothing special, I was looking for my sister at my school, but than found my father who was kidnapped, tortured and lobotomized. I was so shocked in my dream and tried to find the key for his prison, but I didn't find it. I started to cry and I recognized that I also cried in reality, cause my pillow was all wet when I got up. Really creepy huh? The worst nightmares are the dream 

Do you know the movie Paranormal activity? I think there came out three movies and they're working on a fourth, aren't they? For those who don't know, it's a psycho thriller/horror that deals with a demon who follows a young woman since she was a child. 

I saw all the three movies and I was kind of horrified hahaha XD The last two were sosolala, interesting but nothing special, what really made me have a creepy feeling was the very first movie. It was so dark and the demon did become aggressive only in the very end, what lead to a increase of the scary activities. I remember that i could sleep a whole week after watching the film. Minnie stupid read that book about Satan before, than I watched the movie and the same night, it was as bright/dark as in the movie, I thought to hear the same noises like in the movie hahahaha. It may sound rediciolous, but since than I always sleep with an open window to hear the cars outside, I get scared when I don't hear a noise. lol 

I remember the other day that I was at home alone. My grandma is always worried that some burglars come in, so she closes all the windows before she leaves me alone. XD Well, the other day, it was about one week ago, my grandma departed to visit her friends and I was at home working on my blog, all the windows and doors were closed, when suddenly the door opened from alone and a small breeze came in. And 5 minutes about I recognized that breeze, my grandma returned home and opened the door. lol It was kind of creepy, as a sign that my grandma would come home now. lol I know, it's rediculous, but I believe in things like that, no matter what other people say. I also remember that one time my mother told me that she also had a very creepy experience at our flat. It was very early in the morning, all the windows and doors were closed and she got up because she couldn't sleep. So she went into the living room, when suddenly a plant started to move as there came some wind from a side or as there was something behind the plant. First she thought that it might have been our cat, but when she took a closer look there was nothing behind the plant and it was still moving. o.O

Or another time that my father wasn't at home and my mother was alone in our flat, sleeping with the cat on the blanchet (as always lol). When, there was no window open because it was winter, suddenly in the dark the door opened by itself and our cat started to hiss against the door, but there was nothing behind it. That was the last time I heared something like that. Maybe a rotten ghost or really a demon? *lol* I hope that there was a ghost, not a demon, otherwise that would proof the existence of real evil spirits and honestly, I don't like it to know that there is something very strong and evil that you can't controll.

I remember that my best friend in Germany told me about some creepy stories she explained me that happened to herself, like suddenly a hand of someone on a photo who wasn't there before. We didn't talk about these stories too much because we didn't want to scare each other, but it's creepy that there are so many things you can't explain in the scientific way. lol

I remember that some period, I think it was about three years ago, I followed a forum in the internet that dealed with this strange accidents. I think it was called something like "allmystery" and something like that. Of course there are many many people who are only talking shit, but why should demons, angels, devil and god not exist? (Okay, sometimes I really doubt that god exist, cause there was NEVER a time that he listened to my prayers concerning school and love) but is there really a proof that this kind of things don't exist? I don't know. I'd like to visit a serious medium or something to see if it's really true, but I don't think that there are many serious professionals. 

About High School dreams

Hi there! Strange title for a new post huh? Well, it's actually that what ruled most of my time today or, better, what was most interesting, cause I didnt have a lot to do. (Actually, during the whole vacation I didn't have a lot to do, but I'm fine cause I have to relax before my travel to Japan starts.)

I'm spending my time with reading gurugossip (a forum where thay talk about gurus like Michelle Phan, next post will be about her lol) and playing computer games. These kind of games where you have a list of words and have to find the objects from the list, don't know how they're called in Germany. It's not the most interesting thing to do, but at least you lose some time.

Well, the title saying "high school" is refering to a very strange dream I had. Since my sister is back in Germany and not online right now I write down my dream in order to remember and tell her about it when I come back. I often have very funny, weird dreams, dreams that don't have anything to do with the things that happened to me a day before. Psychologists say that dreams often refer to experiences, dreams and fears and Freud's interpretation was also in the more sexual way. I remember that we talked about dreams during the philosophy lesson  and compared Freud's theory to Platon's. Platon said that a human would consist of three different parts (if I remember very well). The head, that is the "queen" and stronger than any other part which means intelligence and rationality, the heart for love and the part of the body under the stomach, the sexual organ for sexual wished. As he described the head as a queen and strongest part he was of the opinion that we would be rational beings. freud saw it in a very different way. He said that everyone would be a sexual being, also little children. I guess everyone heard of the oedipus complex. It's originaly based on the story of Oedipus who fell in love with his mother. Freud says that happens to children in the age of about 3 years old. The girls "love" their daddies and the "boys" their mummies. He takes this fact for a proof of the sexuality of human beings also at children's age. Another proof for Freud that sex would play a big role for us humans was the fact, that little children of the age of elementary school or even younger play so called doctor games, which refers to children playing with their sexual organs. Also this observation lead him to the theory that our sexual wishes seem to be much more important for us than we thought before. Most of us don't really recognize the importance of sexuality, freud said that everything takes place in our subconscious, what is the reason of our dreams. He said that the problem of our world's society is that we deny sex because we are ashamed about it. As it's described as a natural part of the human, it's not good to deny sexual actions. The fear of having sex is a problem in our subconscious. We don't feel that "problem" during the day, but it's shown in our dreams. Since this could lead to a tormented character, Freud first tried to interprate the dreams in a sexual way because he thought that most of this "strange" dreams would be caused by not enough sexual activity lol. To be honest, I don't really think that my dreams have something to do with sex, more with experiences and wishes, but okay, if he says so. At least he is the world wide famous psychologist, not me.

I'll try to interprate my dream with my own ideas, let's see which final result will occur.

In my dream I didn't really look like me. I had blonde hair, a little bit shorter and looked like that typical high school-girl from american tv-series. I still had my face, but clothes and hair were totaly different. -> maybe the wish to be someone else? Or maybe also the fear to be not me. I recognized in the dream that I looked, different, that I wasn't me, but it wasn't bad, just unnormal.
My family looked like my real family, but I know that we had some super powers. I knew that my parents had a problem with each other and I was scared that they would fight each other with that very strong super powers lol -> I guess it's fear that my parents will have problems with each other, fortunately we never had that kind of problem in our family.
We lived in a house like the mainson of Lara Croft, in our garden was a strange pyramid that had some colored lightning. I know that it was like in a videogame where I had t change the color of the Lightning, but I didn't manage it and at the end I had to stip it because I had a date lol -> obvious, too many video games, too much Lara Croft. The date at the end was one of my wishes XD
Hahaha, the funny thing is that my date was a guy from my immaginary story I'm writing right now. Let me explain only about that character from the story: michelle Phan would say that I was "inspired" for him by Castlevania; Curse of Darkness. No, actually I copied the whole character, gave him less "gay" clothes and made him to a good character, cause in the game he's one of the villains. I didn't even change his name, so also in the story his name is Isaac.
That' s what he looks like.

For my story I tried to search real people who would fit for them, took Richie from US5 (lol, I like Richie, he's handsome) and changed his haircolor. So in my dream Isaac looked kind of like this:

So I don't know why the text starts in the middle of the blog now but okay, I had a date with this guy. What me finally really depressed was the fact that I waited for him the whole evening and he didn't even appear. I was so sad in my dream, it seemed almost real and I think that i still have to recover from my last heart break *lol* -> I interprate this ending as the experience I had made in Italy with the guy I liked. There would also be a connection with Isaac (from the looks) because the guy I liked actually looks a little bit like Richie from Us5 (blonde hair, blue eyes). Only that it was a self created character, for me a perfect guy, who left me behind. I guess it also shows the fear of lose a person who seems "perfect" to me.

What would Freud say about my dream? I think his interpretation would be like: "You don't have anybody to love, so you feel desperate and alone. You are scared that you can't find a sexual partner and that you can't give birth to a child, was is a woman's task given by nature..." Well, also this interpretation doesn't sound too bad. Well, all in all it was a very strange athmosphere, if I would knew something bad wpuld happen. Kind of, in the next seconds the world will collide or some something like that.

That's all for today. It's not as long as the post before, and maybe it's not even that interesting. But I don't know why, I felt like I had to write down my dream for some reason. It was so strange and the athmosphere was so scary, this feeling follows me the whole day. What if dreams were a gate in a different world? Sounds idiotic, but would be fun huh? XD At least finally something interesting would happen ^^

The power of love?

Hey guys. Two posts in one day. I could make so many other posts today, cause I have so many things to tell you, but let's reduce it at just one now.
I'm not even sure if I can finish this blog post cause my grandpa will pick me up this evening, but let's see if I manage to tell what I want to tell you (also when there were only two readers for my post today lol) anyway, thanks for reading! XD ( I guess that will be another very long post. Sorry about that)

I call this blog "the power of love" because I want to deal with the topic of love and the power it has to destroy the good mood of many girls. As I already told you, I was never very successful with love affairs.
I remember the first real "crush" I had was when my visual kei fan time began. Than myspace was very popular and we all searched for japanese guys in the internet because it was the only possibility to chat with asians. There was a guy who became quite popular after I "met" him online. I don't know if any readers remember him, his nickname was miku (I won't post his real name). He had colored hair, a piercing and looked a bit like... I think this popular guitarist is called miyabi, isn't it? well, I saw his photos on myspace and thought "oh my god, this is a very handsome boy!" when I found him he had only 80 friends. I sent him a friend request of course and was very happy when I even received a reply in which he wrote that I was "kawaii" (for those who are not japan fanatics, kawaii means cute). we started to chat and changed msn adresses to phone each other (btw. is msn still in use? I didn't hear people talk about it anymore). I remember that I bought a webcam some time before I met him, so I told him about my cam and he bought a cam in the following days so that we could communicate with each other. we talked for hours. also when we didn't have to tell something because there was nothing else to say he told me that he loved me. btw, it's offtopic, but I just thought of it. did you also recognize that japanese guys tell you "I love you" right after they met you? I guess that this phrase doesn't have such a big emotional message in Japan as with us. Maybe it's only used in the superficial way and I (as a dumb teenage girl) thought that he took it seriously. lol
I remember that miku one day told me that he had written a song for me. you can't immagine how happy i was that day, and even though the song sounded a bit strange, I felt like the happiest person in the world. When I went to Italy on vacation i didn't have the possibility to mail him for 2  weeks because I didn't take the computer with me (and we didn't have a labtop in that time). I just called him once in the evening to talk to him. i didn't recognize that in the meantime another girl ( I remember that i saw her profile afterwards and i think she was from romania, was also quite pretty) had the same succeed as I had before. two days before I returned to Germany, I tried to call him, but he didn't answer. When I returned home and checked my mailbox at once, but hey, no single message. I recognized also with the following fails, that that's the way a japanese guy treats a girl when he isn't interesting in he anymore. he just doesn't let know anything from him. cowards...
Well, actually I was quite stupid to think that is was something serious. after i added him the number of his friends grew in a rapidity I had never seen before. When I returned, he already had up to 600 friends after two weeks. Guess I was not the only one who found him and since vk was very popular in that period it was "cool" to have a japanese guy. He even had a fanclub for doing nothing! Just looking nice on his pictures!!
I was very very sad when I saw that he found a different one. I cried one week and swore to never have a boyfriend again till I was 20. but i didn't listen to myself. after some myspace flirts which didn't take longer than one or two days I went to Japan, where I met my first official bf.

2nd big crush and 2nd disappointment. we met accidentaly at the train station. i was in a hurry, he was in a hurry, so I chrashed into him (like in this very bad anime or manga stories XD) we started to talk, I told him where I was from and he explained that he learned german at university. when I think about it, I'm not so sure that he really learned german because he didn't know a single word and it wasn't really at the beginning of the universtities. He was already 21, in Japan you go to university when you are 19, but okay, I don't want to be too mean, at least I liked him in some way. We started to change mail adresses and we wrote every day. I remember that he sent me an e-mail in which he wrote that he thought of me the whole day and the same blablabla boys write when they wanna play the conqueror. We met several times till my return to Germany got closer and closer. than suddenly he was busy, he couldn't meet anymore etc. and when I got back to europe he didn't even reply anymore. as I told you, that's the japanese boys' mentality to deal with girls when they are bored.

same thing happend with the 3rd one and my 2nd official bf. I meet him in the train where he acted as he would sleep and his head fell on my shoulder. I didn't say anything, I just waited till my station arrived (Harajuku, I wanted to buy some accessoires because in Takeshita Dori is a very cheap shop. for each earing or necklace only 300 yen ( something about 2€70???)! I totaly recommend it!! well, further with the story. the boy also got out at Harajuku station and followed me, till he asked me in a very polite way where I was from. And than we started to talk, talk, talk... I think we talked about 3 hours when I asked him whether he had time for some shopping. So we went through Takeshita Dori and walked through shops etc. At the evening we took some purikura and changed phone number, so that we could reach each other. we messaged every day. one day he was quite depressed because he got a bad mark for his report for university. so he messaged me and I tried to make him happy. I wrote him that he should not be sad, because I'd think of him every single minute. he seemed to be quite happy and we met several times. often at akihabara, one time I also came to visit him at yokohama, where he lived. I remember that we went to eat some ramen that day and that he got stuck somewhere with his trousers. so we had to buy him new ones because he had a very big hole. that was kind of cute. but the nearer germany came, the less me messaged me. one week before I returned to Germany I went to Shibuya to do some shopping. I sat down in front of Shibuya 109 (a very huge department store with many very nice shops from brands like LIZ LIsa and DIA) when I saw a tall and masculine guy passing and smiling at me with the typical "I'm sexy and I know it"-glance. I have to admit that my bf didn't message or phone me anymore (he was busy with university, but my friend told me that they had vacation -.-), so I was quite sad and felt better when that guy smiled at me. (you should know that when you bf is not considering you it reduces your self-esteem a lot).
The handsome guy passed and I was a little bit disappointed that he didn't talk to me, but was still sitting there. After about 5 minutes the same guy passed, with the same smile only from the other side. I smiled back, but didn't say anything. After another 5 minutes he passed again and finally asked whether he could sit next to me. I appreciated a lot that he asked me whether I was alright and if he could know my name, because in Japan it goes often that way. "Hey, do you have a boyfriend?!" -"btw, my name is Minnie. Nice to meet you. No, I don't/Yes, I have...".

His first question wasn't about having a boyfriend or not, just about my country, how it is and what I was doing in Japan. We also talked quite long till he decided to invite me for something to drink. I remember that he talked the whole time about "GodiBa" here and "GodiBa" there, that should be a belgic factory for chocolates and stuff. When we entered the store I saw that it was Godiva, not godiBa, but still, I didn't know it. He bought me a Maccha (japanese green tea milk shake or s.th. like that) for about 15€(!!!!! O.O) and wanted to buy me some overpriced chocolate. Than he brought me to the Shibuya central station and changed numbers. I know I was such a bitch, but in that moment I totaly forgot my bf and only concentrated on the new guy. I guess that's where it finished completely with the relationship. My bf didn't mail me, but the new guy did. Everyday... and although I told him that I had a bf he mailed me every day.
When I returned to Germany my bf still didn't mail me. He didn't even write a farewell message. the new guy did indeed.
We stayed in contact during the whole year and met also last year in Tokyo, where we went to Karaoke. Actually I have to say that he was a quite sympathic guy. Everything what could have gone wring went wrong, but I enjoyed a lot staying with him. We went through Shibuya ( we wanted to take Purikura together) and I had to guide him cause he didn#t know where to take (btw, he worked at shibuya lol), he wore very cool cowboyboots , but couldn't walk an him so he fell several times, when we went to karaoke we got the chamber in which the mashine didn't work s.o. but I laughed a lot and for me that's important, to laugh a lot. after the meeting we messaged each other till 5 am, we had so much to say. And when I returned to Germany we stayed in contact like last year (well, at least for the first months.)

But one month before going to Italy he didn't answer my mails anymore. I once sent him a mail in Italy with a link to my japanese blog. I don't even know if he had read the blog, because he didn't answer after that at all. I thought that maybe he was still jealous because I wrote that italian boys are very handsome, but hey, it was just objective. I remember that we had a discussion about italian boys are handsome and bla and because I went out with my cousin and his friends who were only boys, but it they were just friends and I told him. And before he was never jealous when i went out with other male japanese friends for the game centre o.O I sent him 4 other mails, but no respond. I mailed him yesterday and normaly he answers the same day, but he still didn't reply. I have the bad feeling that it's finished. It's the typical japanese (or should I better say male) way to deal with problems.

Last but not least and the very first crush on a non-japanese boy: the best friend of my cousain. It happened after the guy before started to ignore my mails. You always say "you forget an old love when you find a new one" and that's what I've tried. I thought: "gosh, minnie, are you stupid? the other guy doesn't care for you anymore, but this new one seems to like you, is good-looking and intelligent. why not take him? (also my best friend told me that I should follow him)". So I started to show him my interest.

The first time a saw him after a long time (I already knew him 2 years ago, but he was only 15, I was 17, so I wasn't interested in him) I went for a walk with my aunt and my small female cousain (she's only 8, but so adorable) through the "Corso", a street where many nice shops are etc. He growed up, seemed more mature to me and asked if I was fine. The other day my cousain decided to take me to a tavern with his friends. There is a festival in Foligno called "Quintana" where everything is "styled" medevial. The taverns open and the waitress are dressed old fashioned. I didn't know something like this before, so for me it was quite fun. his best friend sat next to me and explained everything when I had some questions. I remember a very funny part of the evening when I asked him about the word "cinghiale" what means "wildboar" in english. he didn't know how to explain and said "well, it's a... a... a pig with... in the front... horns... it's... PUMBA! you can eat Pumba here!" It's actually not so funny when you tell it, but I really had to laugh because he also tried to imitate the boar. But I was stupid and told him my plans about Japan and I think that pushed him away a lot. My grandma said me one day "you are stupid. he liked you a lot. he only spoke about you, but he's scared of a broken heart and since he knows that you want to live in Japan he's not even trying anymore!" ARGH! I'm so stupid, I don't manage to do anything right. -.-
Well, we met afterwards several time (only more in a friends-relationship, he always joined my cousain, I was never out with him alone), but it was nothing interesting.

The last time we met I told him that i wanted to have a picture with him to remember the time we spent together and he sayed "sure!". he seemed quite happy and put his arm around my shoulder, even after I asked my sis to take the picture of us 2 he remained in that pose. It was supposed to be the last time we'd meet because he would have gone on vacation 4 days later and would've returned when I'm already back in Germany. But he told me "don't worry, I'm sure we'll still meet before. Than you can say farewell, this won't be the last day." yeah, he made me even hope. I told him that i'd message him on facebook and he answered. "yes, message me whenever you want." That evening I thought: "What a pity that it worked out in the end, but finally I got him." MÄÄÄP, wrong thought. I messaged him if I could upload the picture, he answered "yes, of course". afterwards I asked him when we could meet for a last time, no reply. I waited and waited till it was the day of his departure. I messaged my cousain to say him that you should send him some greetings, than my cousain answered. "but no, he's parting on Friday, not today. he still has two days left." can you imagine how angry I was in that moment? He didn't say a word, didn't even reply my mail although he knew that he still remained? Well, I tried it a last time with a mail at facebook in which I wrote "A pity that we couldn't meet a last time. Have a nice vacation!"
He answered immediatly "hi! Have a nice vacation, we see each other next year when you come back from Japan! :D" I answered, no reply. I sent another mail, no reply. Gosh, do you guy really think that I'm stupid? Why do they act like that?

I was very, very sad the last days because of that, but now I got to the point that always comes after sadness. BITTERNESS! I don't care about anyone or anything, boys get on my nerves. I don't want them, I don't need them. "That's it, no more! Enough Wakka!"(Final Fantasy X-Lulu). The ones who are frequenting you are the ones you don't like, the one's you like know it and just play with you.

But honestly, today I'm fine. I'm happy, also when I'm single. I gave up hope, I don't think that I will ever find a good guy, I don't think that I even want to try. I'll start to act selfish, I will only care for and about me.
this way I can concentrate on my life, on my work etc. without worrying if my bf goes out with another girl or not. It's fine as it is... ^^

Who am I?

Hey guys. When you read my blog, you surely already read my presentation. 
To be honest, I don't like to write these small represantative texts at the beginning of a page.
Sure, you need them to know whether this person has the same interests or not, but they're always
short and I never know what to write cause there's not enough space to describe a whole character.
I person has many facettes. Maybe some people have special interests, but a person doesn't consist of only one interest or hobby. A person has many different parts, to describe all these you'd need a whole book, not only a short description. That's why my first post is about me, what I like, what I don't like.

I apologize for my bad English, I'm not a native speaker.


I was born in Germany in 1993 (yes guys, get shocked. I'm not 14, but 19 years old also if I look much younger!!!) in Hamburg at the north as half itaian, half german. Everyone says that having two nationalities would be an interestung thing. I tell you, it isn't. I never feel german, nor italian. Wherever I go, I'm a stranger. In Germany people see me as italian, I don't even look typically german. What does typically german mean, btw??? blonde hair and blue eyes? gosh, we live in a globalised world now, not in the middle ages. it can happen to appear, that after the years some germans with brown hair and brown eyes are born!!! no, I don't look german, so I'm no german. In Italy everything goes well till I open my mouth and talk italian with my very strong german accent. Then I'm asked: "oh, where are you from my dear, you have a strong accent." WTF! I AM ITALIAN! I may have grown up in Germany, but I have an italian mother, I LOOK italian (let's get on the superficial level of looks) and I have the italian nationality. I'm not less italian than all the others.
Well, let's go on with the story. When I was 2 years old my father found a job in Italy as a journalist for a german firm, so we moved back to Italy, where my smaller sister was born.
For me my sister is the most important person on earth. Forget boys, forget so called best friends who try to steal your bf cause she envies you, when you have a sister who goes well with you, you have a real friend for the rest of your life. When my german grandpa gave his shop to my father, we went back to Germany where I started elementary school. I remember that I cried I lot cause I didn't want to move. I was scared that I wouldn't understand the german language, I was scared that I didn't find friends and that I wouldn't succeed, so I was very sad. Due to that my mother didn't speak with us in italian anymore, only in german, so that I and my sister forget the italian language. 
I finished school this year and now I'm planing to go to Japan to work a year as... I still didn't think about that. After that working holiday I want to go to university in Italy to study arts. Well, let's see what future brings. So much to the "whole exeriences" I made in my life,

Let's get to the more interesting thing, my character. I'm a quite difficult person, I have to admit.
People call me artist, nerd, tomboy (cause I like games, but I'm also used to be called pussy cause I like to dress me in a female way), egoist and a crazy person. (hahaha, it all sounds quite bad)

Let's analyze the things I like and the things I don't like to get a picture of my real character. *lol*

Things I like: 


1. Japan: Since I was a little child (4 years old) I was very interesting in the far east, especially China and Japan. It all started when I played Tomb Raider 2 for the first time together with my parents. I was so fascinated of the chinese levels, that my biggest dream became to move to China. To bring me closer to my dream we visited a chinese restaurant in my hometown. There was a very nice waitress who always made me presents and had wonderful long, black hair. My fascination growed. With sailor moon I found my love for Japan. I was THE sailor moon fan and had everything. Sailor moon video, sailor moon music, sailor moon costume and wig (my first cosplay *lol*), sailor moon doll (who was like a barbie), sailor moon action dolls in all different sizes, sailor moon dress, sailor moon bag etc... 
When I was in the 5th class (elementary school in Germany goes to the 4th class) I had a teacher who was very impressed about my love for Japan. She told me that she once had a japanese boyfriend and that he was her real love, but that she couldn't marry him cause her parents were against him. At the end of the year she gave me a japanese card game as a present the geisha played. For me it was a great sign of respect because she told me, that her bf gave it to her when they were in love.
During my puberty (gosh, I'm so happy that this time is finally over) I started to listen to japanese rock and to act very stupid, like to color my hair and to dress in visual kei style. I started to get interested for japanese boys and ignored all boys of other nationalities ( I apologize for my stupidity).
I was lucky that this already ended at the age of 16, when I traveled to Japan for the first time in my life and went to language school. I really loved it there. I learned about the mentality, culture, history etc. This showed me that I wanted to live in Japan ( although I'm not very sure whether i want to live in Japan or Italy, I'm a little bit confused about that in the moment.)

2. Videogames: I'm not a wannabe gamer who says that I'm a nerd cause it's "cool" to be a nerd these days. I growed up with videogames. I don't talk about WoW, I was never interested in this kind of games. My "nerd-life" started when my parents bought Tomb Raider 2 for Play Station. (btw, I support Play station, not xBox *lol*). After that followed Crash Bandicoot and than, when I was 7 years old... BAAAAM, the best game ever, Final Fantasy 7. These games were the non-plus-ultra for me and became important for my life. 
Videogames made me to start cosplay ( I like cosplay and do some cosplay, but I'm not a cosplayer), cause in most cases I'm interested n game cosplay, not anime cosplay. I may be a gamer, but I'm not a fanatic. When I spent time in Italy or Japan, I was about 2 months without playing one game. So it's not a drug, it's more like one of my favourite hobbies. I don't go out very often (it's always no fun cause it's always raining lol), I don't like the modern society, with boys and girls who pretend to be more liberal when they make free love, forgetting the real sense of love and romantic. So I try to escape from this terrible society with playing videogames. It may be not real, but at least I find a romantic story and real love when I play games like Final Fantasy. (what may also be bad, cause after I play that I expect way too much from boys now lol)


3. Drawing: For me drawing is one of the most important hobbies in my life. I love to draw immaginary characters and character designs. I'm often inspired by Final Fantasy and other japanese video games for my characters designs, sometimes I even try to draw them. When I draw I feel like being in another, better and fantastic world. 


4. Singing: Yes, I love singing. I sang in the school's and my hometown's chamber choir 6 years and made every possible school choir. it's not that I like choir (we often sang songs I don't even like), but it's just important for me to sing. I recognized that while I don't have choir anymore, I start to sing the choir's song in private and make my own practice lessons. *lol* In Japan I went to karaoke almost every day with my friends and it was a lot of fun. I don't have a string voice, but it doesn't sound too bad I guess.


5. Talking: it depends on the topic, but when I found something that's worth talking, I start and speak senza pausa (without a break). I'm also a person who likes to talk much about my problems and yes, sometimes I am even a big gossip girl. I'm not a 100% good person, but normally I gossip only about people I don't like and when they got on my nerves. When I don't like someone but the person leaves me alone, I don't care. But when there's a person who's always trying to get on my nerves, I can become very, very mean. Maybe I should try to be more diplomatic, but I don't see why I should please people I don't like. *lol*

Things I don't like


1. Girls and feminism: Let me explain before everyone attacks me. Of course I'm a feminist. What kind of woman wouldn't fight for woman rights. The feminism I'm talking about is this wannabe-emancipation of our modern society. I think a woman is strong when she fights for her interests and rights, but she should never forget that men and women are different. in general men are bigger and stronger. We girls should concentrate on the qualification a woman have and not try to imitate men. I'm proud of being a woman, I'm proud to smaller and "cuter" because it helps me a lot. I love it when boys pay for me, I love it when they wear my bags and open the door for me. Why should I do it myself? Feminism lead it in europe to an improvement of men's comfort. My male cousain just said last week "I love feminism!! We can finally spend the money on us, not on our girlfriends. Girls are also much easier to get because they are more liberal" holiy shit. is THIS what we women want? I thought that women rights were something different. Btw, did you manage that the girls run more after boys than many years ago? XD When I read girls' comments under boys' facebook photos (last time there was something like "sexy nose". "yeah, especially when he catches a cold" were my thoughts. lol never knew that a nose could be sexy XD) I see that we still have a loooong way to go till we get self confident and independent.
And no, I don't like girls! Why? I would be happy to find a female friend here in Italy (apart of my cousain's gf (such a cute person) I didn't find a female friend lol) but nowadays girls are always busy with stealing their friend's bf. They are always in a competition. Who's the cutest, most beautiful, most intelligent, most popular etc.? I don't care. I am the way I am, i don't want to change for anyone and I don't care if I'm popular because the most important thing is that I'm content and proud of myself. And yes, I'm very very proud. 
I always think: "when I boy likes me, he'll always likes me, no matter what I do. When a boy doesn't like me, he'll never like me, no matter what I do. so I'll be myself and won't change for anyone, so I'll find my true love" well, maybe I am wrong hahahaha. Cause I still didn't find my prince yet, but well, that's what I do actually think. 


2. Love: Don't understand me wrong. I love love! Make love and no war! But love is only nice, when you are successful. I'm a pessimist about this topic. I always had bad experience with love, so I think: "maybe I was born into this world only to work, not to fall in love and build a family" lol 
When I see how happy couples are it makes me glad, but sad in the same way. I never had the possibility to act so happy. I never introduced an ex-bf because to my parents because it was already over after some weeks. So for me: better no love or it'll make you suffer... amen


3. Spiders: I think that I don't have to tell you why, it's quit obvious.


4. Play boys: I hate boys who play with the emotions of a girl just to improve their self-esteem. I hate them!!!     I hope that they'll meet a "play girl" some day who'll break their heart so that they know how it hurts!!


5. pedophiles: is it spelled in the right way? well, I guess there's noone who likes them, so explanation is not needed.

Well, I hope that you got a small idea of my character and I hope that I didn't bore you to death. And I also hope that I didn't scare you with my way to deal with things. I'm normally a very friendly person. I'm open, no racist, so please be free to message me. I'm always happy to meet new people and to see new faces. If there's something you want to know, feel free to queestion me!!!

yours Minnie