もうすぐ日本だぁ～！

Hi guys!! It seemed to be such a long time ago since I was in Japan the last time, so I still can't believe that my flight is on friday and that I won't see my family anymore this year.
I'm very confused. On one hand I'm very glad because I'll see my friends again. I skyped wit my best friend Minami yesterday and I felt that also she was happy. She told me that "we will go shopping, immediatly to Karaoke and many cosplay events. I phoned to Hanabi yesterday and she said that she's expecting you as well and my friend Noranna from Brunei can't wait to meet you." Same here, i want to meet you all!! I remember when I introduced Hanabi to Minami last year. I met them both at curecos, the japanese cosplay page, but they didn't know each other before. When we met we went to karaoke together and we laughed a lot, so everyone wants to repeat that beautiful time.

And, yes... imagine that my last japanese lover, I always call him Caius cause he looks like Caius from Final Fantasy 13-2, can't wait to see me, too. he sent me a mail in which he wrote: "I still can't believe that you come to Japan Minnie. I'm so happy about that, I want to see you sooooo much! Contact me when you arrived at Narita, I want to know that you are save." Maybe the distance made us live our own lives, but I think that my travel to Japan will make us to lovers again. *lol*
I already told my best german cosplay friend emi about our relation and she said, that i had to tell her everything about our dates. *lol* so let's see. And deep in my heart I'm still trying to make him cosplay Caius, so we can cosplay together. <3

Btw, short different story while talking about cosplay, Kaname san, the famous cosplayer from Japan, send me a mail the day before yesterday. Nothing special about that and I'm not a typical fangirl, but I was just laughing. I'm following one of his fanpages on facebook, written by a girl who uploads 5000 pics of him a day. *lol* And she always writes that he loved him sooooo much etc. and always spams on his dashboard. *lol* I just started to laugh when I saw that I was the only one Kaname answered. XD Maybe people, especially girls should stop with their fangirling and write in a normal way, so that the stars don't feel too embarassed. I don't think that Kaname remembered me, he met so many people in his live, but I know that my cosplay friend Nanaumi Aqua ( we made a final fantasy 7 group together) knew him and introduced me to him shorty. He's handsome but... he's small... *lol* Okay, I'm small too with my 159 cm, but he was like 165 maximum hahahaha XD And he's very very shy, apart of a konnichiwa we didn't talk with each other. But well, that's how life goes. Maybe I'll see him at a cosplay event soon. I hope that he cosplays Noel from FF13-2 some day. Noel is my favourite character and they really look alike in some way. It would make me happy, I don't only want to save Noel cosplay pics from female cosplayer on my computer. *lol*

Okay, Noel is still hotter because nobody can reach his beauty *g* *lol* But they do look alike a little bit, don't they?

I would be in heaven when my Caius would cosplay Caius, Kaname Noel and I Yeul. hehehehehe XD

Oh, by the way, here's a picture of the TFT event whith my cosplay group :) I'm Aerith with Kaktor in my arms *lol*

Okay, back to my preparations for Japan. I stiill have to prepare the bags and I still have to spend a lot of time with my family. Today my grandma comes to lunch at our house. I like her, but I hope that she doesn't start to talk about my stupid cousains. It's my farewell lunch because it's the last Sunday I spend in Germany for the rest of the year, so I hope that I won't become stressed by the other's.

Still working on my new comic of xnalara, where the topic is a bout a video game school class hahahaha XD

I started to devide the class into small groups (because there are typical groups in my class. I guessthat only my class is different, cause we only had one boy *lol*)

The first group is team "hot boys". The boys who are popular because they're handsome, rich and intelligent. *lol* Every girl likes them hahaha XD

2.Team - Chaotix the group of stupid boys who only plan shit. Their behaviour is soso and they play soccer inside the classrom

3. Team - Fangirls the girls who fall in love with every boy and they only talk about boys XD

4. Team - sexy bee the other half of team hot boys, they're very popular and everyone loves them because they're so beautiful

5. Team - Brats the guys who play tricks on everyone

6. Team - outsiders (us) the team I always belonged to in class, I think the name already explains everything.

So, that's it for today :) C u soon!!!

why most people think that we nerds are freaks

Hi guys, it's been a while, but I was busy with doing nothing. *lol*
I worked a lot on xnalara, I already wrote a post about this programm. But I also had a lot of stress because of it. Especially because of this picture!

Omg, Vanille Farron and Hope Estheim are kissing each other!! How terrible. Yes, it's stupid, but this image caused a discussion with a nerd who really seemed to be a freak.
First she wrote something like: "How sad that this is never going to happen. Stop making this pairing, Vanille belongs to Fang and Hope x Lightning". or something like this. I didn't quote, but the sentence was about that topic.
I wrote down: "no, cause it's my story and there Vanille loves Hope." Afterwards that freak started a discussion about that all people who support Vanille and Hope are freaks and stupid because this will never happen. Most fans don't like that pairing so I should suck it up and stop making these pictures.
EHM, EXCUSE ME!! Do I live in the DDR or in Nazi-Germany, where free art is censored or forbidden?
How can a girl decide what kind of pictures I had to upload and what not? And who cares about the majority of the fans? I do what I like, my art is for me, not for somebody else. I'm glad when someone likes my pictures, because I worked a lot on it, but if people don't like it, it's okay, until they don't write stupid comments like she did. How dare she think that she could decide whether I could upload my pictures or not? About a couple that doesn't even exist.

I also describe myself as a nerd. I love videogames and videogame characters, especially Final Fantasy characters, but I never judge people because of their pairings. Of course I have fave characters and fave pairings, but that doesn't mean that I have to complain about others.
I have friends who do artwork with Lightning and Hope. I don't support the pairing, but they did the picture with so much love and enthusiasm, that I like their shoots. People who treat bad others because they don't share their opinion are simply insane. Especially when it's about a simple topic like videogames.

Fortunately I met many people on deviantart who supported my pairing, although they didn't have the opinion. I'm happy to see that not all the nerds are freaks like that girl.
We started to talk about Final Fantasy Pairings and it was a lot of fun to see what others think.

I worked on some xnalara pairing the last weeks, I wanted to upload them here.

I worked a lot on this pictures, with the second one I tried to copy the scene from Final Fantasy X with Tidus and Yuna.

Here are other shots :)

I made this shot for my sister and our roleplay. yes I make roleplay's with my sister, I am Vanille and she's Serah. In our play Serah is married with Snow and has a child with him. her name is Belle. Vanille is married with Hope and has a child, his name is Nicolas. *lol*

This picture is the cover for the third part of my comic. I already told you that I'm working on my comic (but I never finish one. I already started with 3, I wanted to start a new one today, but all the comic's aren't finished at all).

In the comic Vanille receives a letter from an anonymous guy in which is written, that the person wanted to talk with her. Whaaaa, I don't want to spoil you, I just tell you: Vanille doesn't like Raines, but he fell in love with her. XD

This is another roleplay picture I took with Vanille, Hope and their baby Nicolas.

By the way, did I tell you that I took pictures with my Yeul cosplay? I still have a lot of things to do, I still have to improve a lot, but I'm happy about the first pictures.

I took it with my camera, it's not professional, so the quality is bad, but I'm happy that I could take some nice pictures.

Well, I already wrote too much I guess.

See you next time.

Oh, by the way, I think that next time I'll write, I won't be in Germany anymore. I'll go to Japan next Friday, so maybe I#ll upload a new post when I'm already on the asian continent.

C U byebye ^^

strange, strange internet.

Hi guys, I have to post here because I'm totally pissed ot. There was a guy who really made my day, or let's better say, made my evening on facebook.

He sent me a friend request on facebook and I accepted, although I didn't know him because I accept every request. Why? I always think that you have a chance to meet new people on facebook , I also met my best friends through facebook and there are many people who also find their love at facebook. But you cannot imagine how angry I was when a guy, who liked many of my pictures, wrote a bad comment about my sister's xnaLara work. I already wrote about Alice; Madness Returns. My sister took a screenshot from the game and edited it with xnaLara, so that instead of Alice fighting with cards Yuna from Final Fantasy X is fighting them. What did that guy write?

"How dare you upload a picture like that. It's against women rights and violant, delete it immediatly." 

How dare you, stupid piece of junk, testa di merda, figlio di una mignotta che non sei altro, (sorry for all these bad words, I don't use them normally, but it really makes me angry) write my sister in that tone. My sister is the best, most honest, friendliest, sweetest person on the world. She never did bad things to anybody, she's always scared to make something wrong. How dare he???!!! I answered in a quite aggressive tone and he, this coward, started to try to explain, that it was the education of his mother to be against violance before she died of cancer and that he is an autist. Who cares? My sister was so terribly sad and made herself responsible for this idiot, so I really made him black ( you say this in italian when you treat someone very bad). After he apologized several times he first tried to put himself into a better light talking about his enormous intelligence. "I have an iq of over 200."

I almost wanted to write "yeah, than don't forget the comma's and write in good german, 'cause I don't understand a bit of the shit your talking about."

I only said: "yeah, congratulations. you want me to feel stupid in comparison to you, me, with my minimal iq of 125?" Than he started to explain that he never managed to have a girlfriend till he was 14. I was close to answer: "if you act like an asshole as you did with my sister, you never will find a girlfriend.", but I did't want to start a battle. The sentence that followed made me feel like a stupid piece of meat. "I want a sexy girlfriend like you, will you go with a guy like me?"

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY SHOULD I? ALTHOUGH I DO NOT KNOW YOU, I ALREADY DO NOT LIKE YOU!!!

1. He sent me a request about 2 days ago, this was the first day I talked to him, how can you ask a girl to become your girlfriend if you even didn't meet her in reality? 

2. He's damn ugly, also if there wasn't a guy I like I wouldn't even look at him with my back.

3. One who talks like this with my sister although he doesn't know her character doesn't deserve me as his girlfriend!

And of story!

But I recognize that there are many strange guys in the internet who act in a very strange way. 

Last time, still at facebook, there was a british boy who asked me after two mails if I wanted to become his girlfriend. First of all, I'm single, but that doesn't mean that I need a guy, especially not one who I don't know. Do I look so desperate? Than he said: "If you need someone to talk to, I'm always there for you." What should that mean? If I have problems, I talk to my mother, father, sister, best friend, psychologist, but not to a stranger! Maybe, although i'm only 19, I'm simply too young for that strange generation. I think to love somebody is more than looks, especially not in the internet.

I mean, I could be a faker who edits the photos and says, "yeah, that's all me!" I edit my photos (only the skin etc., when I edit more I upload it in the folder photoshop/gimp) but they can't know.

There is a faker in the internet I was very disappointed about. I read in forums about her the whole day and day before yesterday because I couldn't trust my eyes when I saw that person, one picture with photoshop, the other in reality.

I won't post the picture because I read some creepy things about posting the name and pictures of that person. I read that her mother searched for blogs, pages etc. of her in the internet that write bad things about that girl to make them delete everything and than denounce them. I don't want to get an denounce, so I won't post her name, nor her picture, I guess you all know what I mean though.

XnaLara

Hi guys, again a very late reply. I wanted to take this week to work on my Final Fantasy 13-2 Yeul Cosplay, on Alice; Madness Returns Cosplay and to meet friends, but I unfortunately found that program that draws totaly my attention: XnaLara.

Did you already hear about that? It's a programm made by a Lara Croft Fan (I don't remember his name anymore) you hacked the game and started that programm to bring Lara in different poses. And he shared his programm now. Thanks to many hackers we also have Final Fantasy Characters now. (You can download them at deviant art)
Btw, I was bored, so after a long time I re-started deviant art. If I have the occasion to upload pictures I'll do it, because I don't have a live (Japan travel is starting next month) and I don't know what I should do with all my freetime. XD

Back to XnaLara, I found it the first time when a facebook friend who's calling herself Serah Farron made cute screenshots with character crossovers.

My friend Serah made this picture with Oichi from Samurai Warriors 3 and Serah Farron from Final Fantasy 13-2. Isn't it cute?!
I also requested some pictures and she made them very nice, so thank you :)

But last week she wrote at facebook that she wouldn't take any request anymore. She sent the link of a facebook page called FantasiesCreations, who also make xnaLara pictures and I requested pictures from them. They also have a very cute photostory (it's still in progress, but the first part is already uploaded) with all Square Enix characters. I read it and I loved it so much, I laughed the whole day when I saw how funny the pictures were.

After I saw that many people use XnaLara, also one of my best friends Miyu, I thought. "Impossible that everyone is able to do that except of me..." So I downloaded the programm 4 days ago, installed it and... it didn't work. Why? I didn't read the information that you had to download and install another programm before to make XnaLara run. The programm you have to install is called Microsoft .NET Framework. You can download it here http://www.tombraiderforums.com/showthread.php?t=147100.
After you installed XnaLara you have to download another programm to make the characters run on XnaLara.  Microsoft XNA Framework.
The download only costed about 5 minutes, so I was very pleased that I didn't have to wait half of the day.

Now let the fun begin! I was able to download all characters I wanted from the tomb raider forum und XnaLara on deviantart. The folder of the character has simply to be extracted and put into the data folder of the programm. At the beginning it was a little bit difficult because you have the bones of the character you have to move, but I got used to it very fast. (although I needed one whole hour for my first picture.)

And here is my first photo. The very very first I made. It shows Hope from FF13, Alice from Alice; Madness Returns, Sora and Roxas from Kingdom Hearts, united in one group. Don't you think that Alice and Sora fit wonderful to each other? I'm of the opinion that Kairi likes guys who are more mature than Sora, like Riku or Terra, so Sora simply stays with Alice. :)

Second thought was to start a photostory with the characters. I worked on it the whole day and it still isn't completed, but I don't know how I should write further on, so I already started another one.

I wanted to post my photostory here to show you all my work. (Cause you know I have nothing to do the whole day) XD

 I wrote it in german, so I'll introduce the text into English.

Sora: Hey Kairi, do you have plans for this evening?

Kairi: Ehm, well...

Hope: I also like history of art!!

Roxas: I wrote in the math exam that c = 2.

When Alice Liddel, new student of the class 10 c enters the corridor. 

Sora: Who's that?

Hope: I think she's new.

Alice: I'm Alice Liddel, nice to meet you.

Kairi: Hi, I'm Kairi and that's my best friend Namine. Do you want to join our cheerleader club?

Alice: I hate cheerleading...

In the world of the adults.

Noel: I growed 10 kg, all pure muscles. Yeul will fall on her knees for me.

Noel: I always was on the second place, although I've been there for her the whole time.

Noel: All this humiliations.

Yeul: Blablabla Murphy...blabla Dante, blabla Maxi...

Murphy: That poor child, I'm way too old for her.

Maxi: Noone can resist to my wonderful hair.

Dante: If you want to win Yeul's heart, you need my humor and my charme. 

Noel: Now, after all her dream guys broke her heart, I finally have a chance!!

Yeul: oh, hi Noel. :)

Riku: yeah, I'm satisfied with a 3 (it's like a C at school)

Sora: I have 5, better than 6. :) (5=D/E, 6=F)

Hope: Come on Roxas, the next exam will be better.

Roxas: Yeah, it's easy for You, YOU always have 15 points. (15pt. = 1+ =A+)

Hope's mother: And how was school?

Hope: Good, I have 15pt. in maths. I've already done all the homework at school, so I have time to play the piano now.

Hope's mother: Your private tutoring student has arrived!!

Fang: Are you Hope Estheim, the math genius?

Hope: Ohh, shall I say the truth?

Fang: Stay here you graupel?! I don't want to see an E in math anymore!

Fang: My little sis needs some private tutoring in all the topics. Since she was in 5th class she didn't understand anything anymore. When one of her final exams is math, it's going to become a desaster!!!

Hope: *thinks* If superman defeats Batman next time?

Vanille: ...

Fang: And don't skip the cours, or I'll become really angry!!

Vanille: Here I am!

Hope: eh, yeah...

Vanille: Is it your house? it's so huge!! Looks like the mansion of Lara Croft!

Hope: eh, yes... Daddy bought it from her. Come on, let's learn math or your sister will become angry.

Hope: I have a very good programm on my computer that helps a lot to learn.

Vanille: okay :)

Vanille: Can you explain how it works?

Hope: eh...yes... okay...

Noel: Stupid Yeul. First she cries and tells me everything about her problems and than she goes with Caius.

Fang: What happened?

Noel: Yeul broke my heart, again... What am I doing wrong?

Fang: That's become you frequent the "wrong kind of girl". You need a strong woman, not a princess. Go to the gym, there you'll find a girl.

Noel: YES!! Let's see which girl fits to me.

Leixia: What do you think about my nails? I made them at YRP. How good that Yuna started her career as a nail designer with Rikku and Paine...

Lili: Sorry, I should have said it before, but I'm not interested in boys.

Noel: Whaaaaaat?

Alisa: Love? What's that? You can not calculate love!

Kunoichi: Finally a date!!! I never had a boyfriend! :3

Xiaoyu: And he doesn't even know my name... Although I stalked him that often!

Noel: I don't understand you girls. What is so special about that Dante anyway?

Serah: I never liked Dante, but he also broke Lightning's heart...

The world of ideas

Hi guys, long time no post. I was very busy and stressed the last days, so I didn't have time for the blog.
I returned from Italy the day before yesterday and first had to accept it that it's always raining here in Germany. *lol* I tell you, I was really kind of shocked when I came back, especially yesterday when I went for a walk through my hometown with my sister. First of all, I felt cold. lol
Yesterday the weather in the north of Germany wasn't too bad, about 26°, but when you are used to 40° you feel cold. And yes, I really felt kind of fresh yestreday.. Afterwards we want to the centre of my hometown. (My hometown has 30.000 inhabitants, half of the inhabitants of my hometown in Italy). There were only about 30 people around and 98% of them were ancient people. When I went out in Italy the centre was full although my cousain said that half of the city went on vacation and the majority of people were young people like me. That was the second culture shock and it really tore me down.
Next what made me sad was: the gym. In Italy I went to the gym with friends and my aunt and it was great because they made an Aerobic course every day. In my hometown: NO GYM WITH AEROBIC! We have  an aerobic lesson, but it's somewhere on the other side of the town. It's expensive and I can't go there because there are no bus connections and I don't have a driver's licence. I'll go to the gym because I need to do some sports, but I guess that it won't be that funny as in Italy. The last point that really shocked was the ice cream here. First one good thing, it's very cheap. In Italy the ice (medium) costed 2,50€, in Germany a large ice costed only 2 euro. But when I ate it, it was just ... ughh... disgusting. It was way too warm and it tasted like "not" natural. I didn't really liked that ice cream and they say that it is the best ice cream of the whole town. x_X Gosh, I really won't get used to that place.

Fortunately I made up some new plans while I stayed in Italy, so I won't live in Germany for a long time anymore. First of all, I'll go to Tokyo in September. At the beginning I wanted to go for a year, but when I couldn't sleep in Italy I started to think and becae scary. I heard that it's hard to find a job in Japan right now. So, what if I don't find a job? I only have money for two months, so I'm worried that I don't have enough for a whole year. So I decided to go only for 6 months instead of 1 whole year. But It wasn't only because of the money, there was also another reason why I decided to leave Japan earlier. Believe it or not, I fell in love with Italy. First I had a culture shock because italians are quite chaotic and loud, but I got used to it and now I really love it. I didn't tell my parents, but I already told my friends that I wan#t to live in Italy in the future. I thought o going to the Accademia delle belle Arti in Perugia, what is a university for art studies. I love art, so I hope to learn the techniques and art history to become perfect.

In Italy I went to the hairstylist once in a week and always made my hair curly, till the last day. Why? They say that when someone breaks your heart, that you have to change your style in some way. Of course nobody broke my heart, I wasn't in a relationship, but you already read the post about my last love interest. lol If yo didn't, read it. it's called the power of love and I'm dealing with the problems I had with boys. I won't say more in this post, because it's offtopic, but if your interested, take a look.
As I said, I decided to wear my hear in a different way (straight) and I liked it really a lot. Now my natural curls returned, but I think I will wear my hair like that more often.

I didn't edit the picture and just uploaded it from my phone, so it's not so pretty, but just to give you an idea how it looks like. Hahaha, the day I took the photo was the day after I went to the swimming pool with my friend Ghislaine. I spent the whole day in the sun and burned my nose, that's why it looks so read on the picture hahaha XD Anyway, that's how my hair actually looked like.

As you can immagine I spent a very nice time in Italy, especially with my cousain. My german cousains are...baahh... I don't spend a lot of time with them and it's better like this because we don't really like each other. My german cousains (they're three, but I don't have problems with the third) are very selfish, arrogant guys who didn't manage anything in their lives but feel superior because they have blonde hair and blue eyes. I don't exagerate, it really is like that. My older cousain (he's 3 or 4months older than me) finished Hauptschule (it's the worst school you can do in Germany) 3 years ago, lives with his parents and doesn't do anything the whole day. He didn't even search for a job, the only thing he's interested in is smoking, drinking, WoW and sex. Yeah, my grandma was finished when she found out that he had 3 girlfriends in the same time. One visits him after the other and they only care about sex. disgusting... without emotions, without anything, even worse than animals. -.- Well, I don't care, it's his way of living. 

I actually had a lot of stress with my younger cousain. I won't write down her name, because it's a problem between the two of us, but she made me so angry, I could write a whole post about her, her lies and her selfish character. The way she treated my sister and the way she dealed with "stealing my boyfriend". That's all I will say about her in my post, but I think that's already enough to see that our relationship is more than bad.

the relationship to my italian cousain is completely different. We never had the possibility to talk to each other a lot. When I visited Italy the times before I always came with my family and stayed for only 2 weeks. This two months really improved our relationship. I never had the possibility to talk with someone about philosophy like with him. And that's the story the title of the post is refering to: Philosophy!

I won't write about philosophy, it was just an interesting title that can be refered to many things in my life. 

The first time I heard of the world of ideas was during the philosophy lesson when we talked about Plato. Do you know him? Well, once he said that there would exist two kind of worlds. The world we live in and the world of the ideas, a place where every object we know already exists in the ideal form. Before you are born your soul is in the world of ideas, where it sees every object in the perfect form, e.g. a sock without holes. *lol* After we got born we forget everything, but re-learn it when we see the object cause we had already seen them before in the world of ideas. So it's not a tabula rasa, that we don't know anything at the beginning, but whe forget and remember things. It's very abstract and I don't share his opinion of course, but I like the topic. It's a nice idea that there should exist a third metaphysical world within everything is perfect, don't you think? Like a dream world, like a wonderland.

And now that I say wonderland I come to the next topic I want to talk about. Yeah, this post is about very very different stuff. It's mixed up, but it consists of my thoughts in the moment.

Everyone knows Alice in Wonderland, right? The story where the small girls falls into a hole after she follows a white rabbit and finds herself in a fntasy world, a wonderland?

While I was in Italy my sister played a videogame that is dealing with Alice in Wonderland (in a different way than the disney movie XD) and I really love it. I started to play it yesterday and fell in love with that game. I also plan to cosplay Alice because I really like her character.

The game's title is Alice; Madness Returns and deals with the story of Alice, finding herself in a wonderland, that is beautiful and cruel in the same time. It's like a gothic Märchen, has childish and horror game effects. That's what makes the game so special. I love horror games and fantasy games, so that game is the perfect mixture of both genres. If you also like horror, you really should try the game, it's fantastic. 

Sometimes I wonder how MY wonderland would look like. XD I know, there doesn't exist a wonderland, but wouldn't it be coolto have a wonderland? Mine would be full of candy, everything in pink, full of cute kittens and handsome boys who look like Richie Stringini from US5. Or maybe there would be only one boy, who'd be always be there for me and we would live like Jack and Sally from Nightmare before christmas. I think that would be ideal for me. Too bad that there doesn't exist such a wonderland, otherwise I wouldn't return back to reality. I can stand reality. I already told you that I'm a big pessimist, especially about love affairs, but also about the real world. When you see the news, read the papers or listen to the radio, you are only confronted with crimes and war. what kind of world should it be in which we only live with hate? I don't like it. I hope that, after I will die (hopefully after I reached the age of 85), there will be a paradise like wonderland. :D

Well, I already talked a lot, so I guess that I will finish the post or it'll get too long. Thanks for reading and I hope you won't be annoyed!!